Some chapters break you, but this one rebuilt me.
There have been moments I’ve cried from my gut; the kind of crying that leaves you empty, wrung out, and staring at the ceiling wondering if there’s anything left to give.
There have been moments where my own mind turned cruel whispering “everyone hates me” until it echoed so loudly I almost believed it.
There have been moments where I walked past that half-filled storage unit and felt the weight of everything left behind. Furniture. Jerseys. Equipment. Memories stacked in boxes, all tangled in landlord drama I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The physical reminder of just how heavy – yet empty, endings can be.
But then, there have also been moments of becoming.
Moments where I learned what surrender really means. That giving up control isn’t the same as giving up. That sometimes the bravest thing I can do is let God work while I stand still, trusting that what’s been hidden in the dark will, eventually, come into the light.
And let me tell you, closing a business the right way? Woah. Nobody talks about how much work it takes. The paperwork, the calls, the finances, the goodbyes, the dignity of tying up loose ends when your heart wants to run and never look back. It’s exhausting. It’s humbling. But it matters.
This chapter forced me to face myself.
Not just the version of me I was when I started. Not the me I thought I became through success or recognition. But the me right now. I always hear people talk about “finding themselves again” and I started this pivot trying to do just that. I was struggling. When I thought of the version of Jen I was before this chapter, I saw a woman who I didn’t connect with anymore. She was fearful. She didn’t believe in herself. I had these scars etched in my soul. There was no going back. And honestly? I didn’t want to.
I gained so much from this experience.
It taught me how deeply I care, even when it costs me. It taught me how much grit it takes to fight for young people who deserve second chances. It taught me how strong I really am, not because I didn’t break, but because I did…and kept moving anyway.
And now, for the first time in a long time, I’m excited for what’s next.
Because here’s the truth: I’m not what ended.
I’m what begins again.
The pivot is the proof.
And the proof is that I’m still here.
Some chapters break you, but this one rebuilt me.
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