what happens when people feel pressured to hide parts of themselves
Recently bought rainbow hearts to put on my car. I knew when I bought them that my wife would be upset. I was right.
My wife wasn’t upset because she disagrees with them. She was upset because she was worried.
She looked at me and said something that has been stuck in my head ever since:
“You’re inviting hate.”
The frustrating part is that she might not be entirely wrong.
The realization
Most people won’t say anything. Most people will drive, or walk by, see a rainbow sticker, make whatever judgment they want to make, and continue on with their day. But all it takes is one person. One person having a bad day. That one person filled with anger. One person who decides that a rainbow heart somehow makes another human being a target.
That realization bothered me more than I expected. Usually, I laugh it off and go ahead and put the sticker on. But, this time it struck me.
A rainbow heart should not require a risk assessment. Yet here we are.
Choosing sides
The deeper issue isn’t really about Pride. It’s about why people feel pressured to hide parts of themselves in order to be accepted, loved, employed, included, or simply left alone.
Somewhere along the way, we became a society that asks people to pick a side on everything.
Not just an opinion. A SIDE. On EVERYTHING.
And once you chose that side, you’re expected to adopt every belief, every talking point, and every enemy that comes with it.
The result is that nuance disappears. Humanity disappears. People stop seeing individuals and start seeing categories.
The consequences
Real people are getting hurt.
Jobs are lost. Relationships are cut off. People are asked to leave whole communities.
People learn to stay quiet about who they are because being authentic suddenly feels dangerous.
That isn’t progress. In fact, it’s regression.
And for many people in the LGBTQ+ community, it feels painfully familiar.
We have been here before. We have fought this battle already.
The right to exist
The fight for equality was never really about special treatment. It was about the right to exist openly and honestly without fear. It was, and still is, about the right to build a life without having to hide who you are in order to be accepted.
Those rights weren’t handed out freely. Real people fought hard for those rights.
Groups marched.
Communities protested.
People risked careers, relationships, reputations, and safety so future generations might have a little more freedom than they did.
That matters. Or at least it should.
Pride Month matters because visibility matters.
Everyone does not have to agree. Not everyone has to think the same way.
But, every human being deserves dignity. That should be a non-negotiable. Every human being deserves respect. Every human being deserves the freedom to exist as themselves.
If you’ve made it this far, maybe you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community. Maybe you’re an ally. Maybe you’re someone who sees the world differently than I do. Honestly, that’s okay.
If you’re still reading, I have a simple request.
This June, lead with love. Not assumptions or fear. Not outrage or labels. Love.
Because division feeds on fear. Judgment feeds on fear. Rejection feeds on fear.
But love has a way of dissolving the walls we spend so much time building between each other. And the truth is, every single person you meet is carrying a story you know nothing about.
That’s worth remembering.
This month and every month after.
🏳️🌈
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